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Ensemble stories based on prompts that tend to feature non descriptive people of Eorzea getting into shenanigans that I find entertainment value in. Maybe this will be the thing I go ahead with for making FF14 posts since I haven't really touched MSQ in a while since I was goofing around too much.
Chapter 1: Crab
Original Tags: Ensemble Cast, points of view change, Exercises in worldbuilding, Lengthy descriptions of food, Slice of Life, Dissertations occasionally pop up
The Giant Crab
Limsa Lominsa, the major port of Eorzea, as expected, has an incredibly large ocean filled with multitudes of fish. These fish are plentiful, even with the fisher’s guild going out on the daily to catch, round up, and cook said scaly searchers of the sea. It follows that crab should be a part of the denizens of the water.
So naturally, the logic follows that
big ocean plus big fish =big crab.
M’ari Tia (the only named character in this story) was a man of simple logic. Wake up in the morning, yawn a bit, catch fish, cook fish for patrons at the small business that hired him. Go back to fishing in the afternoon, cook fish for patrons at the other small business that hired him, take a nap (not a catnap), and sometime in the evening likely repeat the same cycle.
So the giant crab was a bit of a routine breaker for him.
“M’ari! My favorite chef!” A cheerful adventurer waved and slammed the door open with his palm. While he was making complaints about his hand, M’ari noted the thing behind him.
It was too big to be called a crab, and yet it was. It was snipping the entire time as the adventurer tried dragging it in. One of the claws was managing to grip to the side of the wall as the other customers had slowly put their forks down to gape at it. The adventurer continued to pull.
M’ari moved to the back door to get the head chef. She moved her head back from the kitchen to witness the silent struggle. A few had begun to cheer between the crab and adventurer, shouting things like “get that crab” or “you can do it, crab!”
Finally, with a large pop sound the crab had managed to be pulled in, sliding on the wooden floor (and narrowly missing the people who had gathered in a crowd). The entrance had a notable crab shaped hole that extended past the door and onto the porcelain white colored walls with material M’ari was unsure of. Brick? It was probably brick.
The crowd gathered around as he sort of stared. Commentary varied.
“That’s the largest crab I’ve ever seen!”
“The door!”
“Where the hell did you get that thing?”
“Fished it.” Was the nonchalant reply as the adventurer stood up. “I got it for M’ari to cook!” The crowd gave glances for the red haired Miqo’te to look back from the door as the head chef looked at him.
A period of awkward silence followed as M’ari gave out a quiet laugh. “Ehehehe….”
Chipping away the crab was the next step. It was sort of the only thing he could do quietly as his boss stared him down. Whenever he looked she was standing there silently… that stare seemed to be more like a glare. There were words of praise for the giant crab and it’s supposed great achievement.
But that great achievement soon turned to regret.
“Are you crabby, my friend? Today’s special is eggs with crab.” The waitress winked at the customers in line. One customer gaped at her.
“Eh, what about my anchovy toast?” A whine came out from the front of the line.
The waitress smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“We’re trying to get rid of the crab first but… it’s more of a bane at this point, right?”
She continued.
“We’re considering keeping the shell for decoration!”
“That seems a bit macabre….” said a customer.
“I didn’t know you even knew that word.” Their friend replied from behind.
The crab lasted longer than expected.
And the meals kept going.
Menu: Crab Specials!
Due to the giant crab, we will be serving crab until supplies run out!
Our regular food will be serviced as soon as we get the door fixed.
Suggestions are welcome.
There’s a piece of parchment taped over the regular chalkboard menu.
It reads: Crab on bread, baked crab, crab stew, grilled crab, crab boil, crab pasta, crab salad, edible crab ball, crab cakes.
The adventurer sat down with their head on their knees. Next to them was a plate of crab.
“I don’t see why you’re complaining… I’m going to cook so many more crab meals, isn’t this what you wanted?” M’ari said happily. His tail wagged happily behind him.
“At the very least, you avoided getting billed for the door damages. Everyone keeps going here to buy crab!”
Someone noted that the adventurer was shaking a bit.
“…are you crying?”
Finally, they cried out to the heavens.
“I am. Sick of crab!”
To which M’ari replied simply.
“Shut up and eat your crab cakes.”
I swear that I have more to this story than just crab recipes. The formatting definitely got messy when I reuploaded.
Chapter 1.5 (Crab Recipes)
Extra! Extra!
The gem of the sea: The elusive giant crab and its various recipes and reviews.
Crab on Bread
• Walnut Bread (normally the walnuts are a Gridanian import, but these ones were locally grown! The temperate climate allowed them to stay in season.)
• Crab (Can be regular sized. Local is the blue one, but the adventurer who caught it failed to mention it nearly capsized their boat.)
• Olive Oil (Crushed with pits removed and placed within a stone mill created by the daughter of one of the local chefs of the restaurant. Extracting this information of the recipes led to them telling me to omit the name for privacy purposes.)
• Smooth Butter (Made from buffalo Milk)
I had to wake up particularly early for the visit. This restaurant otherwise would’ve passed me by because of its location but then I noticed the rather large crab shaped hole and an incredibly long line of both Roegadyn and Miqo’te that frequented the other restaurants by that district. As for myself, I was staying at one of the inns paid for by one of my sponsors to survey food they couldn’t get to, but I digress.
Anyways, the line was lengthy because of the notoriety— some adventurer caught a giant crab and now everyone was bundled up so much that I couldn’t even see the menu through all of the giants and swishing tails. Not to mention the adventurers had shown up, but describing all of them in vivid detail would be akin to describing a painting with a smear of colors— no cohesion whatsoever.
While I was waiting in line, someone ahead of me came out running. That blue haired miqo’te was nearly panting as she sat on a table with a parasol over it. She unwrapped something but made direct eye contact with me. I didn’t get to eat breakfast. In fact, since it took me so long to get to this area by chocobo cart, I didn’t eat for the entire trip. I’m not sure how long we stared at each other before she gestured me over to the table.
“They’re gonna take a while to make everything because of how much everyone wants to try it. So maybe when the excitement dies down, you can try some later!” Smiling at me, she broke off half of her food, which turned out to just be crab on bread. I found that out later.
Crab meat is a lot softer than I expected. The bread is brilliant. It’s warm. They lightly buttered the bread, which contrasts with the slightly salted crab. I think out of all the recipes, I’d love to remake this one.
Crab Boil.
• It’s just crab.
Greatly boring. This one was just a boiled crab. It didn’t even come from the giant crab, it was supplied by a fisherman who looked mildly irritated the entire time they stood in the back with their arms crossed. At the very least it was tender and the seasoning gave it spectacle when the other would eventually run out, but… I suppose it's the lack of wonder of knowing it came from something so large?
I should likely ask how they’re going about preserving this crab…
So far, everyone has turned away from me and the only thing left of it is the shell and giant claws…
Crab Pasta (Creamy)
• Sweet Cream
Olive Oil
• Crab
• Spinach
• Maccheroni (A type of dough made from flour, eggs, water, and salt that have been dried. The shape resembles a tube.)
• Pepper
Notably, this one recipe contains two different types of results depending on the type of sauce used. The sweet cream is a local delicacy from the buffalo milk in the area, but that does make me wonder…You could merely substitute the tomato for cream, but storing the cream proves to be a bit of an issue, correct?
No matter how much I asked, they wouldn’t let me go see how everything was stored in the back.
Crab Pasta with Tomato Sauce
• Wild Onion
• Olive Oil
• Pepper
• Crab
• Cieldalaes Spinach
• Maccheroni
• Navigator’s Dagger
• Tomato Sauce (stewed from Ruby tomatoes, wild onions, and garlic. I don’t care how much you try to argue. Tomatoes are not a fruit.)
Strangely enough, this was the only recipe out of all the crab centric menus that held any sort of fish, which made it notable to me. The garlic is strong, but not enough to overpower the entire dish, which is what I was concerned about when they mentioned they had put in onions twice! I wonder who wanted onions that much…
Notably, despite using a lot of spinach, it shrinks far too much whenever I try to cook it. At least it doesn’t puff up in a smoke like it used to anymore…
Edible Crab Ball
• Rock Salt (imported from upper La Nocesa)
• Sunset Wheat Flour (Milled and broken down by a local farm, delivered by Chocobo)
• Crab
• Millicorn
• Sauce (this one has to remain a restaurant secret.)
Notably, I was initially concerned at the idea of a crab ball being edible—after all, that’s what was used for fishing sometimes in this city state, but one of the chefs reassured me that it was not the case. Rather than being some sort of combined version of rye flour paste and smeared helmet crab, this one serves to be more of a delicacy of fried bread with the crab inside of it! It’s a lot smaller as well, a few of them were given to me on a plate on some sticks.
I asked if there was any notable inspiration for this one, and one of the chefs told me it was from an eastern recipe they sampled called “takoyaki”. I’d love to try this takoyaki as well!
Crab Salad
• Alpine Parsnip (imported from Thanalan)
• Olive Oil
• La noscean Lettuce
• Cieldalaes Spinach
• Buffalo Beans
• Mineral water
• Crab
• Oranges (brought from the farms)
In some ways, this is a standard parsnip salad with crab. But, the highlights of this one are the tangy orange zest that combines with the rest of it. The rest of the orange juice was placed onto the side as a dressing that was mixed with lemon to create a contrast.
Summerford farms proved to have a convenient and steady supply of fresh, ripened, and sweet oranges— though, when I asked for the exact details the head chef brought out her assistant chef, by the tail, no less!
The incredibly shy miqo’te had told me that the prices might have been discounted for him since he was stung by the wasps, but I was unsure if he was referring to the jellyfish or actual bugs within that area.
Crab Salad (Star)
Above but with an Avocado Pear added
A suggestion from a later patron was to add a bit of alligator pear on the side, sliced thinly. It’s a rich creamy sort of feeling that is indescribable. The olive oil pairs well alongside the crab that is lightly salted, leaving me with a refreshing feeling. Out of all the food here, this one rates highly for me!
Say, if that adventurer ever comes back, maybe he could catch a crab for Ul’dah? The traders would praise them endlessly—what?
They said they were sick of crab?
—Nameless Food Critic’s review from a subsequent unnamed newspaper
Chapter End Notes
This idea got away from me relatively quickly. Originally it was just recipe listings and cross referencing the database but then the idea of a nameless food critic being around for the crab was entertaining. Not all the recipes got onto the list because some of them were too similar.
I had to cross reference the Eorzea database and keep going back and forth to figure out if some things that were normal to use for recipes here even existed. Like, what the heck do they call mayonnaise there when they have sandwiches?! Then you need to consider that sandwiches are seemingly Nordvant exclusive and throw in the towel.
Fun FF14 Fact: Macaroni and cheese doesn’t exist because macaroni doesn’t exist in game. Maccheroni is just something I made up because I didn’t want to use long noodles.
End Notes
Ideas came from a world building thread on a server I frequent but I feel like my version of the idea became far too silly. Copy pasted from google docs so I’m not sure how the formatting will end up.
Chapter 1: Crab
Original Tags: Ensemble Cast, points of view change, Exercises in worldbuilding, Lengthy descriptions of food, Slice of Life, Dissertations occasionally pop up
The Giant Crab
Limsa Lominsa, the major port of Eorzea, as expected, has an incredibly large ocean filled with multitudes of fish. These fish are plentiful, even with the fisher’s guild going out on the daily to catch, round up, and cook said scaly searchers of the sea. It follows that crab should be a part of the denizens of the water.
So naturally, the logic follows that
big ocean plus big fish =big crab.
M’ari Tia (the only named character in this story) was a man of simple logic. Wake up in the morning, yawn a bit, catch fish, cook fish for patrons at the small business that hired him. Go back to fishing in the afternoon, cook fish for patrons at the other small business that hired him, take a nap (not a catnap), and sometime in the evening likely repeat the same cycle.
So the giant crab was a bit of a routine breaker for him.
“M’ari! My favorite chef!” A cheerful adventurer waved and slammed the door open with his palm. While he was making complaints about his hand, M’ari noted the thing behind him.
It was too big to be called a crab, and yet it was. It was snipping the entire time as the adventurer tried dragging it in. One of the claws was managing to grip to the side of the wall as the other customers had slowly put their forks down to gape at it. The adventurer continued to pull.
M’ari moved to the back door to get the head chef. She moved her head back from the kitchen to witness the silent struggle. A few had begun to cheer between the crab and adventurer, shouting things like “get that crab” or “you can do it, crab!”
Finally, with a large pop sound the crab had managed to be pulled in, sliding on the wooden floor (and narrowly missing the people who had gathered in a crowd). The entrance had a notable crab shaped hole that extended past the door and onto the porcelain white colored walls with material M’ari was unsure of. Brick? It was probably brick.
The crowd gathered around as he sort of stared. Commentary varied.
“That’s the largest crab I’ve ever seen!”
“The door!”
“Where the hell did you get that thing?”
“Fished it.” Was the nonchalant reply as the adventurer stood up. “I got it for M’ari to cook!” The crowd gave glances for the red haired Miqo’te to look back from the door as the head chef looked at him.
A period of awkward silence followed as M’ari gave out a quiet laugh. “Ehehehe….”
Chipping away the crab was the next step. It was sort of the only thing he could do quietly as his boss stared him down. Whenever he looked she was standing there silently… that stare seemed to be more like a glare. There were words of praise for the giant crab and it’s supposed great achievement.
But that great achievement soon turned to regret.
“Are you crabby, my friend? Today’s special is eggs with crab.” The waitress winked at the customers in line. One customer gaped at her.
“Eh, what about my anchovy toast?” A whine came out from the front of the line.
The waitress smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“We’re trying to get rid of the crab first but… it’s more of a bane at this point, right?”
She continued.
“We’re considering keeping the shell for decoration!”
“That seems a bit macabre….” said a customer.
“I didn’t know you even knew that word.” Their friend replied from behind.
The crab lasted longer than expected.
And the meals kept going.
Menu: Crab Specials!
Due to the giant crab, we will be serving crab until supplies run out!
Our regular food will be serviced as soon as we get the door fixed.
Suggestions are welcome.
There’s a piece of parchment taped over the regular chalkboard menu.
It reads: Crab on bread, baked crab, crab stew, grilled crab, crab boil, crab pasta, crab salad, edible crab ball, crab cakes.
The adventurer sat down with their head on their knees. Next to them was a plate of crab.
“I don’t see why you’re complaining… I’m going to cook so many more crab meals, isn’t this what you wanted?” M’ari said happily. His tail wagged happily behind him.
“At the very least, you avoided getting billed for the door damages. Everyone keeps going here to buy crab!”
Someone noted that the adventurer was shaking a bit.
“…are you crying?”
Finally, they cried out to the heavens.
“I am. Sick of crab!”
To which M’ari replied simply.
“Shut up and eat your crab cakes.”
I swear that I have more to this story than just crab recipes. The formatting definitely got messy when I reuploaded.
Chapter 1.5 (Crab Recipes)
Extra! Extra!
The gem of the sea: The elusive giant crab and its various recipes and reviews.
Crab on Bread
• Walnut Bread (normally the walnuts are a Gridanian import, but these ones were locally grown! The temperate climate allowed them to stay in season.)
• Crab (Can be regular sized. Local is the blue one, but the adventurer who caught it failed to mention it nearly capsized their boat.)
• Olive Oil (Crushed with pits removed and placed within a stone mill created by the daughter of one of the local chefs of the restaurant. Extracting this information of the recipes led to them telling me to omit the name for privacy purposes.)
• Smooth Butter (Made from buffalo Milk)
I had to wake up particularly early for the visit. This restaurant otherwise would’ve passed me by because of its location but then I noticed the rather large crab shaped hole and an incredibly long line of both Roegadyn and Miqo’te that frequented the other restaurants by that district. As for myself, I was staying at one of the inns paid for by one of my sponsors to survey food they couldn’t get to, but I digress.
Anyways, the line was lengthy because of the notoriety— some adventurer caught a giant crab and now everyone was bundled up so much that I couldn’t even see the menu through all of the giants and swishing tails. Not to mention the adventurers had shown up, but describing all of them in vivid detail would be akin to describing a painting with a smear of colors— no cohesion whatsoever.
While I was waiting in line, someone ahead of me came out running. That blue haired miqo’te was nearly panting as she sat on a table with a parasol over it. She unwrapped something but made direct eye contact with me. I didn’t get to eat breakfast. In fact, since it took me so long to get to this area by chocobo cart, I didn’t eat for the entire trip. I’m not sure how long we stared at each other before she gestured me over to the table.
“They’re gonna take a while to make everything because of how much everyone wants to try it. So maybe when the excitement dies down, you can try some later!” Smiling at me, she broke off half of her food, which turned out to just be crab on bread. I found that out later.
Crab meat is a lot softer than I expected. The bread is brilliant. It’s warm. They lightly buttered the bread, which contrasts with the slightly salted crab. I think out of all the recipes, I’d love to remake this one.
Crab Boil.
• It’s just crab.
Greatly boring. This one was just a boiled crab. It didn’t even come from the giant crab, it was supplied by a fisherman who looked mildly irritated the entire time they stood in the back with their arms crossed. At the very least it was tender and the seasoning gave it spectacle when the other would eventually run out, but… I suppose it's the lack of wonder of knowing it came from something so large?
I should likely ask how they’re going about preserving this crab…
So far, everyone has turned away from me and the only thing left of it is the shell and giant claws…
Crab Pasta (Creamy)
• Sweet Cream
Olive Oil
• Crab
• Spinach
• Maccheroni (A type of dough made from flour, eggs, water, and salt that have been dried. The shape resembles a tube.)
• Pepper
Notably, this one recipe contains two different types of results depending on the type of sauce used. The sweet cream is a local delicacy from the buffalo milk in the area, but that does make me wonder…You could merely substitute the tomato for cream, but storing the cream proves to be a bit of an issue, correct?
No matter how much I asked, they wouldn’t let me go see how everything was stored in the back.
Crab Pasta with Tomato Sauce
• Wild Onion
• Olive Oil
• Pepper
• Crab
• Cieldalaes Spinach
• Maccheroni
• Navigator’s Dagger
• Tomato Sauce (stewed from Ruby tomatoes, wild onions, and garlic. I don’t care how much you try to argue. Tomatoes are not a fruit.)
Strangely enough, this was the only recipe out of all the crab centric menus that held any sort of fish, which made it notable to me. The garlic is strong, but not enough to overpower the entire dish, which is what I was concerned about when they mentioned they had put in onions twice! I wonder who wanted onions that much…
Notably, despite using a lot of spinach, it shrinks far too much whenever I try to cook it. At least it doesn’t puff up in a smoke like it used to anymore…
Edible Crab Ball
• Rock Salt (imported from upper La Nocesa)
• Sunset Wheat Flour (Milled and broken down by a local farm, delivered by Chocobo)
• Crab
• Millicorn
• Sauce (this one has to remain a restaurant secret.)
Notably, I was initially concerned at the idea of a crab ball being edible—after all, that’s what was used for fishing sometimes in this city state, but one of the chefs reassured me that it was not the case. Rather than being some sort of combined version of rye flour paste and smeared helmet crab, this one serves to be more of a delicacy of fried bread with the crab inside of it! It’s a lot smaller as well, a few of them were given to me on a plate on some sticks.
I asked if there was any notable inspiration for this one, and one of the chefs told me it was from an eastern recipe they sampled called “takoyaki”. I’d love to try this takoyaki as well!
Crab Salad
• Alpine Parsnip (imported from Thanalan)
• Olive Oil
• La noscean Lettuce
• Cieldalaes Spinach
• Buffalo Beans
• Mineral water
• Crab
• Oranges (brought from the farms)
In some ways, this is a standard parsnip salad with crab. But, the highlights of this one are the tangy orange zest that combines with the rest of it. The rest of the orange juice was placed onto the side as a dressing that was mixed with lemon to create a contrast.
Summerford farms proved to have a convenient and steady supply of fresh, ripened, and sweet oranges— though, when I asked for the exact details the head chef brought out her assistant chef, by the tail, no less!
The incredibly shy miqo’te had told me that the prices might have been discounted for him since he was stung by the wasps, but I was unsure if he was referring to the jellyfish or actual bugs within that area.
Crab Salad (Star)
Above but with an Avocado Pear added
A suggestion from a later patron was to add a bit of alligator pear on the side, sliced thinly. It’s a rich creamy sort of feeling that is indescribable. The olive oil pairs well alongside the crab that is lightly salted, leaving me with a refreshing feeling. Out of all the food here, this one rates highly for me!
Say, if that adventurer ever comes back, maybe he could catch a crab for Ul’dah? The traders would praise them endlessly—what?
They said they were sick of crab?
—Nameless Food Critic’s review from a subsequent unnamed newspaper
Chapter End Notes
This idea got away from me relatively quickly. Originally it was just recipe listings and cross referencing the database but then the idea of a nameless food critic being around for the crab was entertaining. Not all the recipes got onto the list because some of them were too similar.
I had to cross reference the Eorzea database and keep going back and forth to figure out if some things that were normal to use for recipes here even existed. Like, what the heck do they call mayonnaise there when they have sandwiches?! Then you need to consider that sandwiches are seemingly Nordvant exclusive and throw in the towel.
Fun FF14 Fact: Macaroni and cheese doesn’t exist because macaroni doesn’t exist in game. Maccheroni is just something I made up because I didn’t want to use long noodles.
End Notes
Ideas came from a world building thread on a server I frequent but I feel like my version of the idea became far too silly. Copy pasted from google docs so I’m not sure how the formatting will end up.
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